Back when I was in middle school, you had tryouts and you did your thing, and when it was over you either found your name on the list or you found yourself doing some soul searching and that not-so-fun stuff. But, you had winners and losers. But making the team was only the beginning. Then you had to bust your butt in practice to show you deserved to be in the fight when it really mattered, or you got to be the water boy with a jersey aka the bench warmer. If you didn't like it, you worked harder, or in the event that you get to come in during a blowout, you showed the coach something he missed during his evaluations that may get you in the game more. You put in the blood sweat and tears...and hopefully you got to see the rewards, but you had the fight to stick it out, or you hung up the shoes and went to go do something else. I miss that. Where that mentality came from, I'm not sure, but I think it's just a trend in society. We've become a society of entitlements rather than earnings.
I've had seasons where parents were furious that their kid only gets a couple of minutes, or only gets to play in blowouts. Okay, well before you come charging me up, do your kid a favor and make sure he's earned that time. More often than not, its the kid that has inconsistent practice attendance. And then when he's there, he's not giving 100% or is constantly a half step behind. You have practice for a reason - to PRACTICE. Games are to compete and get a W, practice is where you learn. If you aren't learning it with reps of practice, as a coach why should I trust that fate would have it just set in during a game. In 95% of situations, the problems you have in practice are the problems you will have in games. So yeah, I'm not going to put that kid in the big, close games. He hasn't earned it. As a parent, rather than coming after me, look at what you are teaching your kid. Yep, he's really taking in things like 'commitment' and 'work ethic'.
You also have to understand that there are at least 10 kids on the team, and you are going to have an order of ability. Someone is going to be #1 and unfortunately someone is going to be #10. In many cases you aren't going to be able to just full sub on and off because of skill sets. And if #10 doesn't have a great skill set he probably isn't going to get that much time. When I was a kid, you knew where you stood. If you were the last kid to get picked in dodge ball you either cried and found new people to play with or you said, "How dare you pick me last" and then made sure every chance you had you made the most of it so next time sides were picked you weren't last. Where did that fire go? I have that on my team now and I honestly think #10 is perfectly happy with being #10. "But coach, these are kids." Yeah, but I knew it as a kid, our parents knew it, even you probably knew it growing up. Learning it early is only going to bleed into their off-the-court life and make them a better individual. I started coaching to impact lives of kids in a positive way, and learning that you have to work hard and the importance of putting in work should not be something I get crap for.
I miss the old days, where the bench guys made the starters keep their spots. The starters knew that if they took a day off, some bench kid was right there ready to take his spot. I may be alone in this, but it's what sports is. You win or you lose. Back in my day, participation trophies were crap. The pity clap sucked. Second place was best loser. All of that was fuel to your fire. "I'm not getting that ribbon, I'm getting on that podium." Oh, the good ol' days...
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