Like Raising a Pup

So today is my dog's 4th birthday.  He taught me a lot about being patient and it helped to handle some tough coaching decisions, and can help teach some parents that same lesson.  So Happy Birthday, Pharaoh!!

Pharaoh - Miniature Pinscher

As I finish this season and prepare to enter into the winter season, one conversation I'm sure I'll have to have with at least one parent, if not more, is about playing time.  I've been through a few of them, and it's easy enough to deal with assuming the parent is realistic about what they are asking.  I can't really help you if you are asking for something that makes little sense, like asking for 30 minutes of playing time in a 32-minute game.  Not happening - not even Kobe plays the entire game. This post is not about those parents.  This post is for parents that realize that most coaches are willing to work to make your job as a team parent easier while keeping the team on track to maintain and improve its level of competitiveness.

The first thing a parent has to do is realize what their child is up against.  In a 32 minute game on a team of 12 players, you're going to have to earn your minutes in most cases.  Granted, you may get lucky and the guy in front of you may get into foul trouble, but the average athlete doesn't like that scenario.  He wants to be the kid that the coach has in his rotation and calls into the game trusting he'll be able to get the job done.  It's a great feeling - but it can be tough to reach for some.  Not because they aren't good, but there are 11 other people fighting for those same minutes.  Sometimes, it may look like an impossible mountain to climb.  It's your kid's Mount Everest.  We coaches don't do it on purpose, we love that your kid comes to practice and works hard day in and day out.  I love those kids more than the lazy ones who manage to dominate simply because they happen to hit their growth spurt early.  Which is why I don't mind the reasonable conversations.

Sometimes though, its not that the coach made a mistake and got caught up in the game or whatever else parents say.  Sometimes it's just that the kid just isn't ready for the competition.  Whether he's lacking the confidence, quick decision making, or some other intangible, it's something that may just need time.  It just requires patience from everyone - parents, coaches, and teammates.  Some people can walk in and just pick up a ball and it just happens.  They are ready to go in a few weeks.  Others it takes years. All we can do, is encourage the good things, try to improve or correct the bad, and give them opportunities to keep working on their game.  This is what my little guy taught me.

I knew he was a smart dog when I got him and I had a feeling that we'd get along pretty well - that's why I picked him.  What I didn't know was how much work it was going to take compared to my first dog.  My first dog, Shakeeta, was like that naturally gifted kid on the team - just got her home and in a few weeks she knew the schedule, was housebroken, and the like.  Pharaoh was not that quick.  In fact, he just got to the point where he can be left in the house all day without having an accident on the floor a few months ago.  I had moments where I wanted to just give up and pass him off to someone who had the ability to just stay at home and let him out every few hours, or could play with him so he didn't find something of value to destroy while I was at work.  But, we kept working - re-emphasizing the same routine day in and day out, encouraging the good with treats and stuff.  Now he gets it, and he's able to do a lot of things my first dog couldn't as a result of that continued effort.

Youth basketball players tend to follow a similar pattern.  Maybe they aren't the star player in 5th grade.  They may even be #10 in the rotation and get minor minutes.  I've seen kids go from the 10th guy to THE guy after a few years of hard work because they never gave up.  Their parents, coaches, and teammates never gave up.  When parents understand that, it makes it a lot easier for everyone.  The parent(s) work with the coach to help everyone get better and everyone understands what the goal is for that child and how it fits into the team.

Not everyone is going to be an overnight celebrity (we have enough of those anyway).  But if you are willing to put in the time and effort, and throw in a lot of patience, you may end up with something truly awesome.